An emotional journey; then to now.
Today I have a new guest post, from the very talented and amazing photographer Laura Jayne Richards, have a read of the emotional journey she took and where she is today.
I wrote this passage just before my twenty first birthday and thought it would be an interesting way to begin my blog, seeing how I have strengthened as a person over the past 6 months…
Right now I am lost. I am lost in a sea of tearful emotions. Hurt, pain, love, heartbreak, loss, lust, anger, emptiness … alongside a million others I can’t seem to put a name too.
This is the end. The end of university. The end of comfort blankets. The end of childhood. The end of financial help and the end of living quite simply. Although I am extremely excited for the future and all it holds I am quite frankly petrified. I worry about the big things; where will I live, will I get a job, will people like me ? And also the small things; will I be strong enough to deal with everything. To say the least my health isn’t great, every day I am in agony with muscular pain, emotional battle and the thoughts that go through my head telling me I can’t do this anymore. When I’m travelling I ask myself, can I physically do this?
So lately my mental health and I have been doing really well. Despite the fact that everything’s been really hectic. But all the stress of university work is finished. Yes I feel like a massive weight is off my shoulders but I also feel completely vulnerable, extremely emotional and overwhelmed by a million and one emotions. My brain can’t cope and I’m starting to fray at the edges. My anxiety is hitting again and the smallest things are making me feel upset and angry. I don’t know what to do with myself. I just know I need reassurance, comfort and my forever supportive family and friends surrounding me. This is a very weird time. I don’t know how to be adult !
So soon I will be turning 21. So I kind of have to be adult. But for some reason I am not excited for it at all. Is that what happens when you get older??
Six months into my trip across the world and it is unquestionable how much I have grown as a person. These last few months have been testifying, emotional, heartbreaking yet also completely rewarding in many different ways. I have battled days of feeling completely vulnerable and alone; realising exactly how big the world is. How easy it would have been to jump on a plane home… But I didn’t and it was the best decision. I’m now lay here in my own car, soaking up paradise without a worry in the world. I Kicked anxieties ass.
If you are interested in reading more of Laura’s Work and the emotional journey this amazing girl has taken, have a look at her blog.