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How To Speak Like A Gentleman, Follow The Guide.

Today I’m here with a new guidepost, as my gentleman etiquette posts are so popular its only fair we have another one, this one a bit different. It’s an A-Z guide on how to properly speak like a gentleman, let’s begin.

A: Ascot Unless you want to be revealed as a racing novice, learn how to pronounce the racecourse.  ‘Ass-cott’ if you’re in the Grandstand, but ‘Assist’ to gentlemen, little things like this can make such a difference.

B: Black Tie  Is correct, both as a dress code and description of the suit.  It is never ‘Dinner Suit’ or ‘Tuxedo’, wherever or whoever you may be. If you’re going to look sharp, talk sharp. Making sure your tone matches the look is incredibly important.

C: Cheers Urgh. Can we all agree, right now, to eliminate this vulgar greeting?  It has become a substitute for ‘thank you’ that’s all to often accompanied by the clinking of glasses.  They’re not musical instruments. Stop it, now. However, I agree with the statement I have made but also disagree, cheers are slang, yes… However, depending on the situation, it can be used.

D: Dinner Learn the rule, gentlemen. You go out for ‘dinner’ in the evening, and only in the evening. Wherever you are, you only eat lunch in the middle of the day. Knowing this is just simple etiquette but can be easily missed.

E: Expire A person is not a carton of milk – they don’t ‘expire’. They ‘die’.  They do not ‘pass’, ‘pass on’ or ‘pass over’ either. Death is sad already, let’s give it some dignity.

F: Fizz Unless you make use of the staff discount at Asda, you don’t drink fizz.  It’s Champagne.  Meanwhile, ‘shampoo’ is for washing your hair, ‘bubbly’ is an unattractive character trait and ‘poo’?  Please…. We develop a sense of slang when we are around a comofortable characters, lets step up your vocubalory.

british style, gentleman, model

G: Granny Granny, Grandma or variants thereof are good.

H: Horseriding It’s just ‘riding’.  After all, you’re not a gentleman if you ride anything else…

I: I’ll ‘Sick’ was once better than ‘ill’ but times change, and ‘ill’ is now acceptable. Anything’s better than the nauseating ‘poorly’.

J: Janitor  Yet another American word we have to hear all too often: they’re ‘cleaners’ or ‘dailies’.  Because of western mix, we have adopted this word.

K: Knob Fine for gears, draws & doors. Not for anything else. Let’s grow up.

L: Lounge You have a sitting room or a drawing room in your house. Trust us – unless you want to be ridiculed you don’t have a ‘lounge’, ‘snug’, ‘den’ or ‘front room’.

Tie, mens overcoat combinations

M: Moist It’s just such a horrible word, gentlemen, usually denoting something pretty disgusting. If you must refer to something ‘moist’, use ‘damp’ instead.   When did any of us need this gruesome adjective? The word Moist is widely used for well. Naughty side. But its so incredibly unsexy.

N: Napkin Correct – it’s never a ‘serviette’ unless you’re in France. And stop with the napkin origami. They’re there to clean up, not sit motionless on a table in the shape of a swan.

O: Oatmeal was an american slang word, some gentleman believe you cannot use this word, however I highly disagree, you can use this word.

P: Partner Unless you’re running a business with your other half, he or she is not a ‘partner’. They’re a girlfriend, boyfriend, wife or husband. If the relationship is more exotic, you can make up your word, just not paaaaaaaartnaaa.

Q: Quid It’s Pounds. Work hard to get lots of them, but always avoid slang. It isn’t gentlemanly.

R: Rich And never ‘wealthy’. Better still, don’t talk about money.

S: Setee This is the nickname for Lord Settrington (the heir to Goodwood), and not somewhere you watch television from.  It’s a ‘sofa’, gentlemen. Don’t even think about ‘couch’…

T: Toilet While Tatler have declared the use of ‘toilet’ acceptable I agree. You can use this over words like Bog, loo.

U: Uni (denoting University) Gentlemen, we don’t abbreviate. ‘Uni’ is a frightful phrase, revoltingly pronounced ‘Unaaayyy’. Yes while this is a slang abbreviation I do believe in the write context and environment it can be used, but talking to an older respected person, don’t use the word uni.

V: Vegetables – and not ‘Greens’.  Green’s is an excellent restaurant in St James’ owned by The Duchess of Cornwall’s son and not the collective noun for vegetables.

W: Wine …comes in either a bottle or glass, and that’s how you should order it. One never meets someone for ‘wine’, unless you want to ‘whine’.

X: X Ok, so it’s not a word. However, gentlemen should date letters correctly by using Roman numerals to denote the month. For example, the 10th October 2016 is written 10.X.16

Y: Yummy Is there anything worse than hearing a grown gentleman use children’s words? Yummy Mummy, Yummy food, Yummy Lady, Yummy object. Yummy Anything. Grow up, gentlemen, and speak English.

Z: Zipper No. The access point in your trousers is called a fly. Yes, technically the ‘fly’ is the material covering the buttons or the zip, but a gentleman always refer to his ‘Flys’ and nothing else.

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